


Broken Souls

by jaminsjiminsjams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, spn fanfic, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaminsjiminsjams/pseuds/jaminsjiminsjams
Summary: Dean waits for Castiel at a bar.





	Broken Souls

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "You lied to my face"

Dean lifts the glass to his mouth, finishing the drink off in a few seconds. Today, all he wanted to do was go to a bar, get drunk, and forget about everything. And, well, he had two thirds of that marked off. He motions for the bartender to give him another drink, and sighs loudly, gaining the attention of the bubbly blonde a few feet away. She practically prances over and sits down next to him. She stares at him with wide doe eyes, waiting a few seconds before clearing her throat daintily. Dean’s gaze slowly and painfully drags over to her, and he cocks an eyebrow questioningly.

“Hey.” She says, smiling widely. “I’m Daisy. What’s your name?” She holds her hand out eagerly, and Dean shakes it, and then grabs his refilled drink, taking a sip.

“Dean.” He murmurs. Daisy smiles and scoots her barstool a little closer.

“Dean…you’re uh, really cute.” She giggles slightly, and Dean turns his gaze to her again.

“And you’re really drunk,” he comments, downing the rest of his whiskey and grimacing slightly.

“So are you,” she murmurs. “And…you look lonely.” She moves closer and places her hand on his thigh. “And, I’m lonely too.” Dean’s eyebrows shoot up, and he tilts his head, sighing.

“Normally I’d be all over you, Daisy.” He replies, once again flagging down the bartender. “You’re kind of…my type. Well- what I thought my type was,” he says the last part to himself, but she still picks up on it, and her lips turn down.

“Oh,” she says in a dejected tone. “I…I don’t really know what to say, Dean.” She turns around to face the bar and takes a sip of her drink. “This doesn’t normally happen to me.” Dean laughs bitterly.

“I don’t usually do this,” he says. “It’s just…I’m kind of meeting someone, here.” He closes his eyes, not allowing himself to check his watch. “Well, I was supposed to be, that is.” She smiles slightly.

“You got…what, ditched?” Her voice slurs, and she laughs. “That’s hard to believe, Dean.” He swallows roughly, finishing off his already refilled drink, and slams the glass down.

“I didn’t get ditched,” he growls. “He’s coming.” The words slip out of Dean’s mouth before he can stop himself, and he freezes, hyper aware of her every movement. Her lips part slightly, and her eyes widen.

“H-he?” She can’t stop the words from leaving her mouth, and she instantly shuts it when his shoulders tense, his spine going rigid. “I- I mean, not that that’s…like, weird, I just- I just thought you…” Dean waves his hand, cutting off her stuttering.

“Don’t worry about it, Daisy. If I’m being honest…” He laughs slightly. “And judging by the amount of drinks I’ve had, I am- I don’t…I’ve never really, you know…” He shrugs. “I don’t swing that way. I…I go for chicks, not-” he cuts himself off, and shakes his head. “-anyways, it’s…it’s different. This is- this is different.”

“So, you’re…” Her voice trails off, as if she’s trying to carefully pick her words. “Experimenting?” Dean coughs out a laugh, and shrugs.

“I guess you could say that, yeah.” She nods slowly and takes another sip of her drink.

“Well, I hope it works out for you, Dean. He’d be crazy to stand you up.” She stands up from her bar stool and grabs her drink. “Thanks for humoring me, Dean.” He turns to her briefly, and his eyes meet hers.

“Thanks for…uh, listening, Daisy.” She nods cheerfully and turns away.

“If he doesn’t…if he doesn’t show,” she turns, and he expects her to make one last move, to try and seduce him somehow, but she just smiles sadly. “I’ll be over there, if you need someone to listen some more.” Dean swallows roughly, not able to hide the shocked expression that crosses his face.

“Ah- yeah…thanks.” She turns away and walks to one of the booths filled with other girls, and slides into the seat, her bright smile taking over her face once again.

Dean sighs, raising his hand to flag the bartender down yet again when he hears the door open. His head turns fast enough that something pops, and his vision blurs slightly, but when his gaze lands on the familiar trench coat he doesn’t care. He stands up quickly, almost knocking over the barstool in the process. Castiel’s gaze briefly glances over the bar before his eyes land on Dean, and his head tilts slightly. Dean’s heart races as he wishes he would just move over already, and his hand twitches at his side.

“Cas, come on.” He calls out, unable to stop himself. He nods his head, and sits back down on the stool, turning away and trying to act as if he didn’t care that much if the Angel did come over. He can hear the scraping of the barstool as Castiel pulls it back and sits down on it.

“So…” His voice seems deeper than Dean remembers, but that could just be the whiskey. He glances over at Castiel, trying to ignore the cold chill that runs up his spine when he finds his friend already staring intensely at him. “Did you need something, Dean?” He asks. “I got your call and came as soon as I could.” Dean’s stomach twists as he thinks of a lie.

“I- well, Sammy couldn’t make it out to the bar with me,” he replies. “I was just looking for a drinking buddy, I guess.” Castiel’s head tilts, and he nods once.

“I suppose I could be your ‘drinking buddy’.” Dean grimaces at Castiel’s use of air quotes, and a loud, genuine laugh rumbles from his chest.

“Cas, buddy- you’ve gotta stop it with those.” He reaches out, to pushes his hands down, or what- he wasn’t quite sure, but he falters, and pulls his hand back quickly. He instead flags down the bartender, telling him to get another drink for him, and one for Cas.

Castiel sits there silently and watches Dean. He takes the drink when it’s handed to him and downs the whole thing in a few seconds- to the bartender’s surprise, and motions for another, like he’d seen Dean do countless times. He’d convinced himself that his habit of observing Dean had to do with learning how to react, and socialize more like humans do, but he couldn’t deny the small pang in his chest any time he’d see Dean pursuing girls in bars, and anywhere else he could find them. Castiel sighs quietly- but it’s loud enough to catch Dean’s attention, and when he looks over, Castiel is already finishing off his third drink, no longer looking at him. Castiel’s gaze quickly darts to Dean, and he raises one eyebrow- as he’d seen Dean do before. A smile slowly slips onto Dean’s face, and he shakes his head.

“Dude, you might want to take it easy. Wouldn’t want you getting drunk too fast. Castiel tilts his head again, and Dean’s heart slams against his ribcages at the action. His mouth is suddenly dry, and he swallows thickly, his eyes darting away from Castiel’s intense stare. “Ah- I, I forgot. You uh, don’t really…get drunk, do you?” He asks, hoping his voice sounds casual as he tries to calm his beating heart.

“Not easily,” Castiel replies, setting his glass down. He turns his body towards Dean, completely staring at him as Dean slowly sips at his whiskey. “It takes a lot to get me drunk.” Dean nods, his heart beginning to pound even harder as Castiel’s gaze intensifies. “Dean,” he pauses, waiting for Dean to look over. Which he doesn’t. He keeps his attention down on his glass, his grip tightening around it. “Dean.” Suddenly, he stands up, his heart once again trying to escape his chest. He begins to walk away, without a word, but Castiel stands up quickly, turning towards his friend. “Dean- Dean,” Castiel’s voice softens completely, his voice barely managing to reach Dean’s ears. Castiel reaches out and grabs Dean’s wrist gently.

Dean turns around. “What?” He asks, his voice coming out angry. His eyes flash when Castiel pulls back, his eyebrows furrowing. Dean kicks himself for his harsh tone. “What is it, buddy?” The word feels wrong, forced- Dean’s stomach twists. Castiel glances up, squinting slightly.

“Is…is there something you are not telling me, Dean?” Dean pauses for a second, regarding his friend warily. He purses his lips, pretending to think before shaking his head and shrugging.

“Something you want to tell me?” He asks, unable to stop the small flicker of hope that rises in him. Castiel’s face goes blank, his expression unreadable as his eyebrows pull down and he stares off at nothing. His gaze darts around for a few seconds, and he slowly shakes his head.

“Are you sure, Dean?” He replies, not answering Dean’s question. He looks up at him, his eyes searching Dean’s. “Do not lie to me.” A pit settles at the bottom of Dean’s stomach, and he shrugs.

“I- I mean, I guess I was thinking of heading back to the motel with Daisy? If that counts?” A small sound passes Castiel’s lips, his tone disappointed.

“Who?” He asks, peering at Dean once again. Dean nods over to the booth. Castiel glances over and tilts his head. “Is she blonde?” He asks. Dean nods. “Thin, pretty?” Dean nods again, unsure why Castiel is asking him. “Dean- do not lie to me.” Dean’s eyes widen in shock.

“What? Cas, I’m not-” His voice breaks as Castiel points behind him, and he turns and looks over at the booth. He curses under his breath when he sees Daisy with another man, and he laughs lowly. “I guess she found someone else.” Castiel slowly looks back at Dean, his expression unreadable as his deep blue eyes slowly meet Dean’s gaze.

“You lied to my face.” He whispers. “I don’t understand why you would lie Dean.”

“About what?’ Dean’s tone grows more nervous by the second, and he begins fidgeting slightly, unable to contain his fear anymore.

“Everything.” Castiel replies. “Why you called me here- the real reason. You didn’t tell me what you really want to, Dean, you lied and-” Dean’s eyes widen.

“Whoa- Cas, did you read my mind?” Dean takes a step away from Castiel, who looks up at him in bewilderment.

“No, Dean. I wouldn’t do that,” he stumbles. “Maybe I’m wrong…but I think…” His face twists slightly, and it causes Dean’s heart to hammer in his chest. Castiel closes his eyes. “I was hoping…” His voice trails off again, as he struggles to think of what to say.

Suddenly, it hits Dean.

 

Even if Castiel felt the same way about him, he wouldn’t know how to express it at all. It’s likely he wouldn’t even be entirely sure what it was he felt. Dean stares down at the ground, breathing in deeply, gathering all the strength he can as he takes a step forward slowly, reaching out to take Castiel’s hands in his. Castiel looks up at him, his eyes unimaginably wide as his lips part.

“D-dean?” His heart wrenches at how broken and confused the Angel sounds, at the misty sheen across his eyes- those eyes that Dean could get lost in. Dean swallows roughly, and glances away.

“Cas…” His voice is hoarse, and he takes another step forward. “I- I care about you a lot.”

“So do I Dean. I fell for you.” His voice is soft, and Dean glances up quickly, unsure if Castiel meant it that way, or literally. Although, he looks away quickly due to the still confused, almost broken look on Castiel’s face. “I…I don’t understand it, Dean.” He whispers. “I thought…I thought love was supposed to feel good- desirable, if it hurts this much, why do humans desire it so badly?” Dean chokes slightly, tears stinging at the corner of his eyes.

“Love…” he whispers. Dean looks up once more, forcing himself to maintain eye contact. “You-you’re hurting, Cas?” Castiel blinks slowly.

“Of course, I am Dean.” He states. “How could I not?” Castiel’s eyes widen even more as his eyes glass over. “I do not understand it, Dean. It hurts me. To see you with…” His voice trails off. “People like Daisy. I…I.” His voice trails off as the Angel tries to think of how to express himself. Dean nods slowly and looks down at their hands.

 

“I’m a coward, Cas.” He says. “I haven’t been able to…” He shakes his head. “Acknowledge this, or even…” He shakes his head again, and sighs. “Cas…” Castiel tilts his head as Dean down at him. “I…I want to, uh…” His heart slams against his chest, and he closes his eyes tightly. “I- I mean, I want to…could I…” His breathing comes faster as Castiel’s eyes soften, and a small smile spreads across his face, wiping away his confusion. Pain still lingers in his eyes, however, and Dean’s heart feels as if it’s going to burst. “Cas, could I kiss you?” The sentence comes out in a rush, as if it was all one word. Castiel blinks, and to Dean’s confusion, the pain in his eyes intensifies.

“It is against Heaven, for an Angel to…to be with a human.” Dean’s heart stutters and sinks to the floor.

“Oh.” He whispers. How could he have been so stupid? The pain in Castiel’s eyes spreads to his whole face, banishing his smile.

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life, Dean.” He places his hand on the side of Dean’s face. “And I’ve been around since…well, a long time.”

Dean leans his face into Castiel’s hand, and closes his eyes, hoping the small show of affection will help to soothe the aching in his chest. But it doesn’t. It only worsens it, coaxing a small wince from his throat. His eyes open, and they instantly flick to Castiel’s equally hurting gaze.

“You’ve gone against Heaven before, Cas…why would…why would you care now?” Castiel’s gaze darts away.

“I fell for you, Dean. In every sense of the phrase. I would do anything to keep you safe. You, Dean Winchester, have many enemies, many targets on your back: you do not want Heaven as an enemy.” His voice is strained, and he moves closer to Dean. “If this happens, they will hunt you down, regardless.”

“So? To hell with ‘em, we’ve dealt with those feathery bastards before.” Dean chokes out. “Cas- man, you can’t do this to me, please.” Tears now run freely down Dean’s face, which causes Castiel’s heart to slam against his chest, his own eyes overflowing with tears.

“Not this time, Dean…not in this way…” He pulls away slowly and closes his eyes. “Dean…I- I’m sorry.” Dean closes his eyes.

“Will you…still be around?”

“If you’ll have me,” Castiel replies.

“I’d like that,” Dean says quickly. “It’s…it’s better than nothing- right?” Castiel smiles bitterly.

“I…I suppose so,” he whispers. “I wouldn’t be able to stand being away from you…saying goodbye.” Dean returns the small smile.

“Cas…” Castiel closes his eyes, and steps forward. Dean bows his head slightly, and Castiel grips his face, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Dean.”

And with that, Castiel leaves Dean in the bar, both of their hearts aching beyond belief, and Dean’s soul dims ever so slightly.


End file.
